Many years ago I came across a story about a couple who were having difficulty making a decision.

They were in a big supermarket planning a BBQ. The woman turned to her boyfriend and asked him which BBQ sauce he would like. He replied he didn’t mind and that she could choose.

The panic set in; she was stuck, unable to make a decision.

Now I know this may sound strange but it isn’t. Indecision and the inability to make even the simplest of decisions is very common place.

Why should this be?

Well the simple answer is the fear of making the wrong choice; it might mean she is wrong which could result in disapproval and a withdrawal of love. This is of course completely unconscious, all she knows at that moment is being powerless to make a decision but somewhere in her unconscious something has been triggered.

I have heard the same happen over the choice of a lamp shade. And the cause is the same.

Can this be helped?

Yes. If she can be helped to recognize the cause she will feel better about herself and learn that her decisions are for her to make. Even if she chooses the wrong sauce or lampshade it doesn’t mean that she is wrong.

Once she has accepted that she is good enough and loveable for herself rather than the decisions she makes, she will see that if she buys a sauce her partner dislikes he can eat his burger without.

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