This is a line from a song by Alison Krauss a beautiful song called Paper Planes. I like the line because it reminds me of how easy it is to fall into the trap of thinking in a certain negative way. For example the other day I was driving to see someone, but by the time I had got there I found out she had cancelled leaving a message on my mobile. No worries I thought and turned to go home. On the drive back, I heard this horrific noise and thought I had better stop and find out what was making the sound. When I got out I found I had a very flat tyre. Fine I thought, – just call out the RAC, and then of course I remembered I had left my mobile on charge at home which was why I had not received her message. So I decided that the only thing I could do was to wait until someone came along and stop them and ask if I could use their phone to call the RAC.
Fortunately my neighbour happened to be the next person passing, and kindly helped change the tyre.
So, is this a bad luck story or a good luck one? You might be one of those people who always say, “These things always happen to me,” or you could turn it around and think wasn’t I lucky that it was my neighbour who just happened to be passing.
Now I am not suggesting it is easy to change one’s thinking; after all the way we think has been long established. But if we can begin to train ourselves to notice that our thinking is habitual and our thoughts take on the same pattern each time, we could begin to recognise that out thinking is not always helpful. By feeling as if we are a victim, we keep ourselves in the same place. And if we want to change the way we feel about ourselves and our environment we have to create change. After all there is no change without change. Again I am not suggesting it is just as simple as changing our thought patterns, after all that was where CBT fell down. But I am suggesting it is a place to start. And if we can just begin to notice out thinking we can begin to recognise that we do have a choice as to how we think. And then given the right help to replace some of the negative thinking with a different way of thinking we may learn we can make our lives feel less difficult and less as if the whole world is against us and then maybe begin to see that sometimes even the clouds can begin to change their pattern formation.